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I don't really care if she's religious or not, unless she brings it up all the time or tries to convert me. If you want to go against that trend, one of you will almost certainly change perspective. I am not a doctor's wife so I won't say I understand, but I will give you a virtual hug. After two years of being together with very few problems, it ended within 30 minutes of having "The Talk" about my future religiosity. Part of me feels like will I ever get chosen for one weekend as a priority over medicine. Luckily, this seems to work out. You'll know pretty quick where she stands. I believe rules are to be obeyed. Up to this point, she has just assumed that all atheists are innately evil people.
Don't forget too that IF you are successful in turning the lights on and deconverting her, the family would resent you the rest of their lives. I miss my husband dearly. He was funny, family-oriented, obviously very smart, etc. It all depends on the girl. I am married to an OB physician 10 years. Made me feel ok to read this Thank you for writing. It made me sad to think that the thing that was most important my life в my faith в was something that I could never fully share with my husband. The woman's role is to grow up, marry a worthy priesthood holder, and have a lot of kids. I am glad that I came across your blog. I hate to be so undiplomatic, but it will always create friction in your life to have this level of religious difference.